Lillia and Reeve
by EriRose1
Summary: Lillia's starting her sophomore year at Boston College. She has a new social circle, a charming boyfriend, and a picture perfect life. She's forgotten about Jar Island. That is, until the freshmen class enters, and there's a familiar face among them. Reeve Tabatsky. Her high school boyfriend, and the boy she thought she'd love forever. She may have forgotten, but he hasn't.
1. Chapter 1: FALLING INTO PLACE

CHAPTER ONE

Autumn in Boston meant red, lots of it.

All around her, leaves of crimson fell from the trees, blanketing the sidewalks and crunching under her new riding boots. Lillia missed Phantom, so she kept him in her heart with her fashion choices.

She smiled. Her life was a stock photo. She was walking hand in hand with her boyfriend, admiring the falling leaves and the new start of the school year. Sophomore year with her college friends, her college boyfriend; everything– not just the leaves– was falling into place.

Drew snickered as he watched the nervous freshmen delay traffic. It always took them a few weeks to fall into routine at Boston College. For the beginning of fall quarter, the lines would be held up, the traffic impossible– Lillia knew because she'd gone through the same thing only a year ago.

Drew was a junior though, and could afford to be haughty. When she'd met him, he hadn't seemed real. Chestnut brown hair, deep tan, sparkling green eyes. Those eyes had reminded her of someone else's. Though she'd never admit it, it was one of the reasons she'd noticed him originally.

But he was unlike anyone she'd ever met. Great, booming laugh, a gaze that magnetized you, charisma that filled up a room. Out of all the girls who'd been after him, he'd chosen her. She couldn't wait to spend the year with him.

A football whizzed past her, promptly cutting off her thoughts. With a dull thunk, it collided with Drew's back. He stumbled forward, letting go of her hand. "What the–"

She heard laughter from behind. A boy jogged up to them, tan and confident and grinning from ear to ear. "Sorry about that. Got distracted seeing all the–"

His words faded from her ears. She stared. He stared. Reeve Tabatsky.

"What are you doing here?" she shrieked, then clapped her hands over her mouth. The volume of her voice drew several glares.

Reeve looked amused. "Same as you. College. Getting an education."

"But– BC? It doesn't even have a good football program. We're Division Three." She couldn't take her eyes off of him. He looked so… alive. Real. Full of life and exuberance, just as she'd remembered him. Nothing had changed.

But everything had.

This wasn't supposed to happen. She was supposed to move on, leave Jar Island behind.

Reeve shrugged, his eyes dancing. "Well, BC has other things I'm interested in."

Her mouth opened. Nothing came out. Suddenly it was hard to breathe.

Drew looked from Lillia to Reeve, waiting for the introduction that never came. At last he stuck out his hand, giving his best interview smirk. "I don't believe we'd met before. I'm Drew, Lillia's boyfriend."

Nervously, her eyes darted up to peek at Reeve, but he didn't look surprised. If anything, he seemed pleased, the picture of friendliness. "Reeve. I'm an… old friend of Lillia's."

The word was loaded, dripping with implications. Lillia cringed as Drew's smile slipped slightly, yet managed to stay intact. Not so subtly, Drew intertwined his fingers with hers.

"We'd best be on our way," Drew said, glancing at his watch for good measure. Lillia hated that watch. It was a gold-embossed Rolex that could've paid for a car. A used car, but still.

When Kat had visited towards the end of freshman year, she'd noted the watch immediately. Ever since, she hadn't approved of Drew.

"Of course," Reeve replied smoothly. "I won't keep you. Always nice meeting a _friend_ of Lillia's." He hefted the football in his hand, then turned to Lillia. "Hope to see you around, Cho."

She paled. "Yeah…"

Drew dragged her away.

"I don't like that guy," he muttered.

"Why? You barely know him." For some reason, Lillia was oddly defensive.

"I just– I get a bad feeling is all." He didn't elaborate. Lillia didn't answer. She wouldn't go looking for trouble.

Unfortunately for her, trouble would go looking for her.


	2. Chapter 2: NOTHING BUT A DISTRACTION

CHAPTER TWO: NOTHING BUT A DISTRACTION

Syllabus week. She always arrived early to her first day of lecture, hoping to scout out the best seat and reserve it for the rest of the quarter. Even though there were no seating assignments, people stuck to the same routines every day.

She got to class ten minutes before the bell. Her friend Katie was in the same class as her, but she hadn't been able to wake up in time. It didn't matter; Lillia would save a seat for her.

She squeezed her way past the row of chairs to get to the very middle row, smack dab in the center. Perfect. From here, she had a spot-on view of the professor and his PowerPoint, without being too close that he noticed her falling asleep. Not that she would sleep. But, you know, just in case.

Pleased, she unfolded the arm table and neatly arranged her array of color-coordinated post-its and notebooks. She took off her coat and folded it on the seat, so that her new plaid miniskirt wouldn't get lint stuck on it from the filthy seat cloth.

Now, all she had to do was concentrate. Yesterday had been nothing but a minor distraction. He was here on a football track; she was a communications major. Nothing to worry about. They'd never run into each other again.

The clock struck nine and yawning students at last started to file in. Even the professor was late. Katie stumbled into the chair next to her with an expression that spoke hangover to the max.

"Hard night?" Lillia teased.

Katie stretched her arms as Lillia smoothed down her mussed hair. She was still in last night's clothes. "You could say that," Katie said. "I'm so done with Roberto and the other guys. Our whole friend circle– it's so boring. The same guys, the same talk. I'm tired of it."

"Hey," Lillia said, pinching her arm.

Katie rolled her eyes. "No, not you. You're perfect, of course." Lillia laughed. "Anyways–"

She leaned forward suddenly. "Dude. Three o'clock. To your left," she whispered dramatically. "Serious eye-candy right there."

Lillia giggled and turned to look. She saw a hipster with wooden glasses– not her type– and a man with a giant beard– he looked too old to be a student– and then…

"Oh no," Lillia muttered, her heart rate accelerating. Emergency mode was kicking in. "Oh no, oh no, oh no."

Katie ignored her. "Please come closer. Keep on walking– no, not that seat, sit closer…"

Lillia prayed for the opposite. Reeve walked down a few steps, coming nearer and nearer, then scanned the classroom. Lillia immediately ducked, trying to burrow her face into her cashmere scarf, but it was too late. He met her gaze, his emerald eyes sparkling, and then slid into the seat right in front of her.

Great. Now she could definitely focus.

Katie purred into her ear. "Reckon he has a six pack?"

Lillia sighed.

The professor walked in finally, rubbing his eyes. "Welcome class, to your Communication 4B– interpersonal communication…"

Half of Lillia's mind concentrated enough to take notes– perfectly color coded and neatly written. The other half whirled, trying not to notice when Reeve stretched, his hands almost touching her knees, or when his back muscles tautened beneath his jacket, showing through the fabric. His shoulders had always been broad, but now they were practically huge. Had he been working out?

 _Stop it, Lillia._ It wasn't her business anymore.

"Now, for this assignment, I'm going to let you pick a partner– but only this once. After this first assignment, I'll trust that you can manage on your own…"

Lillia's pulse exploded as Reeve slowly glanced from side to side, then turned in his seat. He looked behind him…

Katie leaned forward. "Hey there."

He smiled at her.

"Looking for a partner?"

"But Katie– we're–" Lillia sputtered.

"Sorry Cho, looks like you'll have to find another one," Reeve smirked at her. Lillia flushed.

Katie sent her an apologetic look. Lillia folded her arms across her chest.

After Reeve turned around and the professor resumed his lecturing, Katie whispered, "Do you guys know each other?"

Lillia shrugged noncommittally.

"Well, I'm going to know him," Katie winked.

Lillia couldn't care less.

 _Could she?_


	3. Chapter 3: LOOK ME IN THE EYES

Over the ensuing weeks, Reeve slowly started to infiltrate every aspect of her life. BC wasn't even a small college, and yet it looked like Reeve knew no other places than the ones Lillia frequented. Sproul Coffee House. She found him studying by the window, chewing a pen in his mouth. The Great Lawn. She spotted him lying on his back, sunbathing his already tan skin. Even the library– she couldn't even study knowing he was only two rows over, drumming his feet against the desk.

And that wasn't the worst part. Her friends all adored him, and slowly he started entering her social circle as well. First studying with Katie, and then he got frozen yogurt with Linda, and then before she knew it he was at their kickback, laughing and throwing his feet up on the coffee table as if he belonged there. He did. Belong there. He fit in with any place he chose to be. He hadn't lost that way of being.

Drew was her only ally. While all her friend converted to the dark side and fawned over Reeve, Drew rolled his eyes and kept to himself. When Reeve showed up at a joint study session, Drew promptly left, muttering a weak excuse and leaving Lillia to fend for herself. She didn't know why she was so angry exactly– Reeve was allowed to be friends with whomever he wanted– but she couldn't ignore the bubbling of resentment that filled her stomach every time he laughed with Katie or licked yogurt off of Brittney's spoon.

Everyone loved him. And he loved everyone. Except her.

After the first day, he had barely spoken two words to her. They'd scarcely made eye contact, though they now shared the same friends too. It wasn't fair; she'd been there longer. They should've been loyal to her. But it was all in her head. They didn't even know they were choosing sides.

Of course they weren't choosing sides. She wasn't fighting with Reeve.

But it felt like it sometimes.

She'd forgone a joint study session in the coffee house to go to the library instead. She didn't even have many assignments, but work kept her mind occupied. Now, she was scratching her pencil angrily into her notebook, when the paper ripped.

With a sigh of exasperation, she threw the pencil on the table.

"Trying to break something, Cho?"

She looked up to see Reeve saunter towards her, lazy as a cat.

"Ever heard of anger therapy?" he grinned, sliding into the chair across from her.

"Yes. I tried to sign you up but they said they didn't take arrogant jerks."

He put a hand to his heart, as if she'd wounded him. "You're feisty today, Cho." He grinned, and she knew they were both remembering. "I like feisty."

She met his gaze for one heated moment, and then she saw his eyes go soft. He leaned forward–

"I can't do this," she whispered, pushing her chair back and shoving all her belongings into her messenger bag.

"Wait, Cho." He grabbed her arm from over the table.

She looked down at his hand. Every nerve seemed to light up where he touched her. She wondered if he could feel her pulse, pounding through her wrist.

He let go. "I just– can we talk?"

She hesitated, unsure. "We're talking."

He sighed, long and loose. "Why are you mad at me?"

"Why am I?" she asked, incredulous. His audacity knew no ends.

He nodded, radiating confidence. In that moment, she wanted to break it.

"You want to talk to everyone but me. You want to befriend everyone but me. You smile and laugh and act so easy and carefree and yet you ignore me– you won't even look me in the eyes! Tell me, why would I be mad?"

He stared at her, eyes round. "What?" he exclaimed, then lowered his voice. "You've been the one avoiding me– ignoring me! I tried–"

"You tried to steal my friends–"

"I tried to be friends with your friends!" He threw up his hands in the air. "Is that a crime now? Are they off-limits too? Or is it only your precious boyfriend who you don't want to associate–"

"That's it." She pushed her chair back. The wooden legs screeched against the tiles. "I don't need this. Especially from you."

She stormed away.

"Lillia, wait!"

She heard footsteps pounding up behind her, but she didn't stop. Breathing fast, he grabbed her hand. "You forgot your bag," he said roughly, holding it out to her.

She looked at it, then at him. "Thanks."

"Can we just– can we try again?" he asked, rubbing his jaw. "I just want to be friends."

"Oh, now you want to be friends?"

He nodded. "That's all I'm looking for. I– I like you in my life, Cho. As a friend."

"Nothing more," she said, her eyes narrowed. He nodded again.

She missed him too. It was hard to admit, but now, standing before him, watching his chest rise and fall with his breaths, it was impossible to lie to herself. She missed him; she liked him. She liked him as a human being. It'd be nice to have him around– to have his jokes, his easy demeanor, even his cocky arrogance.

"Okay," she said.

"Really?" His eyes lit up like a Christmas tree.

She snorted, and hitched her bag higher up her shoulder. "But with ground rules," she told him, starting to walk. He followed alongside her. "No flirting."

"Absolutely. I'll be a saint."

She couldn't help it; she giggled. "No mentioning the past."

He drew a check mark in the air.

"And no questions about Drew."

"I don't want to talk about him anyway," Reeve grinned. Lillia felt her heart stutter at that look.

"Okay, deal." She stuck out her hand. He took it, and they shook. Was it just her, or did his hand linger just a bit?

"See you… later?"

"I'll text you," he said.

"You still have my number?"

"I'll never delete you, Cho," he said over his shoulder as he sauntered away. She stared at his back, then turned around.

 _Friends_. Okay. She could do friends.


	4. Chapter 4: RULES ARE MADE FOR BREAKING

A few days later, he texted her. _Ice cream run?_

 _I'm studying._

 _You can't study forever, Cho._

She stared at her phone, her thumbs poised over the keyboard. She didn't actually need to study anymore. And she had been planning to take a break…

 _Is this weird? Us hanging out?_

 _Friends hang out, Cho._

She could almost picture him laughing and rolling his eyes.

 _Okay._

 _Cool. Meet you by the lawn in five._

Five minutes? She needed at least ten to do her hair. She ran to the mirror, then sighed. Who was she kidding? Friends didn't care about how they appeared to each other. Guiltily, she sent Drew a selfie.

"Miss you," she captioned it.

Reeve was wearing a forest green sweater, leaning against a lamppost as he waited for her. The sweater looked warm, and thick. Perfect for cuddling. Not that she'd ever consider it.

It matched his eyes. She shouldn't have noticed that either.

"Cho," he said, kicking off the pole. "You look good."

She was wearing a new dress she'd ripped the tags off minutes before. But she wouldn't tell him that. "Friends don't say things like that."

He rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Friends tell the truth."

In the ice cream parlor, there was fake snow lining the walls, glittering in heaps and dotted with pine branches and ornaments. Thanksgiving wasn't even here yet and stores were already heralding Christmas. Commercialism sped everything up.

"I miss Jar Island snow," Reeve said, poking a fluff of fake snow. "It always had this fresh scent to it– like it was pure. You don't get that with city snow."

"Nostalgia's such a liar," Lillia laughed. "You never liked snow in the first place. You said you missed running outdoors."

Reeve shrugged. "Well, yeah, but if I have to have snow I prefer it the Jar Island way."

Lillia giggled. "Me too."

In the silence, Reeve smiled at her. She was about to smile back when she remembered. "Hey, no talking about the past."

"Jar Island still exists, you know. It's a lawfully-recognized topographic landmark."

"Nerd." She punched his arm. Offhandedly, she suggested, "Here, have some snow."

She gathered up a pile of it in her hands, preparing to dump it into his. He rolled up his sleeves, then proffered his palms. "Give it."

But instead, she paused. With his sleeves pushed back, his bare arms revealed two matching scars, on each wrist. Scars that dug deep.

Lillia remembered the blood– gushing all over the grass. She remembered pressing as hard as she could onto his wounds, hoping, praying that he would survive. She remembered feeling his heartbeat flicker, yet persist– desperate for life.

She remembered the wail of the sirens, the smoke reeling from the Zane house, the look in his eyes as she whispered, "I'm sorry," over and over again.

Gently, Reeve lifted her chin with his hand. "That's over, Lil. That's over."

She nodded, only half-present. She could feel the guilt pooling under her skin, warm and heavy and thick.

He squeezed her knee, his touch pulling her back to reality. "You know, I've never regretted it."

She looked from the scars to his eyes. They flickered with some indefinable emotion. She couldn't understand it.

"If it meant protecting you, I'd do it all over again."

She stiffened. Around them, the world stilled.

"Reeve…" she whispered, throat hoarse. Agony gripped her heart.

He exhaled, not bitterly, just… knowingly. With a forced smile, he took the fake snow from her hands, then breathed it in. "Smells just like Jar Island."

"You liar," she said.

He pretended to lick the snow, then accidentally got a few of the flakes on his tongue.

"Ew!" Lillia squealed. "That's disgusting. You could get sick. Who knows what germs are on that?"

He laughed and wiped his mouth, dumping the snow back along the walls. After a gulp of water, he said, "Who cares? I've tasted worse."

"I can't believe I ever kissed you," Lillia said, giggling.

"Oh, I can," he suggested, waggling his brows. She flushed but couldn't stop laughing.

"I think we've broken just about every rule by now," she said after a bit, panting for breath.

"How's Drew doing?" Reeve asked with a wink.

"Now you've really done it."

He grinned. "Can't help myself."

"We're the worst friends."

"Or the best." He leaned back in his chair, mussing his hair. "Rules are made for breaking."

Hearts, she thought. _Hearts_ are made for breaking.


	5. Chapter 5: A PARTY TO REMEMBER

From that point on, they were friends. Easy, comfortable, natural. Even when they didn't see each other, they were always texting, or on the phone. It felt so right, so homey, to have a piece of Jar Island with her, even at BC.

Drew didn't like it when she saw him. So she just… didn't tell him. There was no point in stirring unnecessary drama. And she wasn't lying, she was just… not telling the full truth. She knew it was better than the alternative. Once, when she'd received a text from Reeve in the middle of a date, Drew had picked up her phone and deleted it. Thankfully, it'd said nothing embarrassing, but Lillia didn't want to risk it. She kept them in two very separate spheres of her life. There was her boyfriend, and there was… her friend.

Now she was her whole friend circle, minus Drew, studying at the Sproul coffee house. Across from her, Reeve lounged in his chair, chewing his pencil as he examined over his essay. Katie sat beside him, reading it over his shoulder.

"You spelled 'color' wrong," Katie pointed out. "There's no extra 'u'. Unless you're part of some snobby British elite." She leaned forward. "Are you?"

From across the table, Lillia snorted. Reeve's family was the opposite of snobby, British, and elite. He was as all-American as you could get.

"What?" Katie asked. Reeve just crossed the word out.

"I'm bored," Katie announced, putting her elbows up on the table. "Who's coming to my party tomorrow night?" Katie lived in the apartments, which made her the ultimate party host.

Everyone started talking at once, setting aside their studying. It looked like most people were going. Including Reeve.

Lillia looked down.

"Cho, you coming?" Reeve asked casually, stretching his arms. She tried not to notice his toned abs, exposed by his raised shirt.

Katie chuckled. "Lil never comes." With a conspiratorial air, she teased, "Drew doesn't like her going to parties. Boy's got her on a leash."

Reeve glanced up sharply, his brows furrowing. Heat rose in her cheeks. "It's not like that," she protested. She wasn't sure if they heard her over the noise.

"Where is the boy anyway? He can't argue if he's not here," Katie said.

"Work." Drew had started a fancy legal internship this fall. He'd had less and less time for all of them, his girlfriend included. Lillia tried not to mind. She was proud of him– his ambition, the way he pursued his goals with single-minded determination. Even if that left no room for her.

"So what's it going to be?" Katie egged her on. "You coming or not? You going to let Drew tell you what to do– or you going to be your own boss?"

It wasn't like that; Drew just didn't like her drinking. He was concerned about her own well being, nothing more. Plus, his father had been an alcoholic. She understood where he wa coming from.

But all eyes were on her now. Lillia couldn't escape this one. "Sure, I'll come," she said.

Reeve watched her. She didn't meet his gaze. Katie clapped her hands together and did a little jig in her chair. "Finally! This will be party to remember."


	6. Chapter 6: A COLD WIND IN ITS WAKE

The night of the party. Lillia took extra time with her hair and makeup. She told herself it was because she wanted to look good, and nothing else. Drew was going to be there too. He'd finished his midterms, and wanted a way to de-stress. She'd offered to go with him, but he'd said he'd go directly from his apartment.

She hadn't told him she didn't like walking alone from to the apartments at night. She'd assumed he would know, but he didn't.

She didn't ask him.

She walked alone.

Tonight she wore a fur-lined coat over her dress, which made her feel safe and cozy. When she got nearer to the building, she heard the pumping bass, and the sounds of laughter and cheering. She felt the pre-party jitters kick in.

She hadn't been in this sort of scene since high school– since Rennie. It was familiar, and natural, but it still felt a little odd. Like a blast from the past, or déjà vu.

A stranger let her in. It looked like Katie had invited the entire school. The place was crowded, packed from end to end. Someone handed her a drink, but she was careful to dump it. She'd learned from senior year's mistakes.

"Hey, stranger." Reeve appeared at her side. She felt instantly more at ease. "Let me take your coat."

"You act like you own the place," she teased as he helped her out of her coat. Underneath, she was wearing a backless slip dress, the color of gleaming metal. Her loose hair cascaded over her shoulders.

"You _look_ like you do," Reeve replied, smooth as ever. She smiled at him, then twirled in a circle, loving the way the silky material glided against her skin.

"Dance with me?" he asked, sticking out a hand.

"What?"

"You heard me," he said, eyes knowing.

She looked around uncertainly, searching the crowd– for whom she didn't know. She was being foolish, she realized. No one was looking at them; they were all too busy doing their own thing. And it wasn't illegal. Friends danced with each other all the time. It was natural.

"Why not," she replied, gratified to see his eyes brighten.

He led her onto the dance floor. They were close to each other– too close. He couldn't help it; there was no room. But still– this close, she could see every freckle on his face; she could see the way his eyes crinkled when he smiled. Had his eyes always been so big?

His hands touched her bare back; she shivered. He smiled, as if knowing what was going through her head. She looked up–

Beyond him, leaning against the door, was Drew. He met her gaze, his mouth set in a grim line, his eyes angry and bitter, then turned on his heel and left. The door slammed shut, leaving a cold wind in its wake.

Lillia's insides turned to ice. She let go, shoving Reeve back. "I shouldn't be doing this," she told him. Then she turned away.

The crowd slowed her down. She pushed at the writhing bodies, elbowing her way through. By the time she got to the entrance, Drew was long gone. She ran out the door.

After so long under the brilliant lights, the darkness blinded her. She stumbled down the front steps then out onto the sidewalk. "Drew?" she called, trembling unbearably in her slip dress. She'd forgotten her coat. "Drew!"

She spotted a hunched figure speed walking down the street. She ran towards him, tripping over her own feet, "Drew!"

But she slowed a few feet away. It wasn't him. He was gone.

He'd left her.

"Cho!"

Reeve raced towards her with her coat. Hurriedly, he pushed it around her shoulders. "You're out of your mind. It's freezing out here."

Her teeth chattered. "I h-had to f-find him before he l-left," she got out.

"Where is he?"

"G-gone."

Reeve looked down at her, eyes huge and sad. "What are you going to do?" he asked carefully.

"I don't want to be here anymore," she said, bundling herself into her coat. The winter wind was frigid. "I think I'm going to head back."

"I'll come with you," Reeve said immediately. "My dorm is near yours."

"No!" She looked up, alarmed. "You should have fun at the party."

"It's not safe for you to walk back alone."

"I'll be fine."

"I want to go with you–"

"Well, I don't want you to. Please don't." Under her breath, she added, "I don't think I could bear it right now."

Reeve's expression crumbled. His voice rough, he faced away from her. "Alright. Have a good night."

"You too," she said softly. The wind picked up her words and carried them away. He didn't hear her.


	7. Chapter 7: IT WAS AN ACCIDENT

With dread in her heart, Lillia rang Drew's doorbell. His apartment was ridiculously fancy, with a shiny golden knocker and holiday wreath strung up on the doorway, never mind that Christmas wasn't for months.

Drew was slow to answer. Only after the second ring did he open the door. He was still in his boxers. His brand name boxers.

There were dark circles under his eyes. Gray hairs that hadn't been there before. Wrinkles around his lips that made him look permanently stressed.

Everyone said junior year was the hardest, but Lillia hadn't really believed it until now– until seeing the toll it was taking on Drew.

"Are you okay?" Lillia asked, her guilt slipping into concern. "Do you want me to make you soup–"

"No, I don't need you to baby me, Lillia. I have a mother and a maid to do that."

His voice was impassive, cold almost. She recoiled.

"What's going on...?" Her eyes were wide.

"Don't do your whole faux-innocent act on me, Lillia. We both know what happened Friday night."

"Nothing happened! I don't know what you saw–"

"How are you going to turn this one on me, huh? I saw his hands all over you, like you were this little slut free for taking–"

She gasped. She felt her stomach drop out from beneath her. "How can you say that?"

He advanced on her, fury contorting his features. "You make me into a fool, you know that? They look at me now and they see a boy who can't even hold onto his own girlfriend, much less–"

She noticed the wine bottle on his counter. It was empty. "You're drunk. You're drunk and it isn't even three in the afternoon!"

"Don't you dare judge me. I'll do what I want with my own–"

She knew how serious drinking was for him. What connotations it carried. "You keep doing this and you're going to throw away your own life, Drew."

"Don't tell me what I can or can't do with my life."

Lillia forged on, ignoring the dangerous tone of his voice.

"You keep doing this and you're going to become exactly who you're afraid to be. You're going to prove everyone right, Drew, and you're going to be just like _your father_."

His eyes darkened as he shoved her. The force shocked her, and she skidded against the hard wooden floor. It was all a blur. Her cheek caught against the open cabinet door, and pain struck her– sharp, excruciating pain.

She sucked in her breath.

"Lillia–"

"Don't touch me!" she cried, guarding him back with her hands outstretched before her. She touched her cheek gingerly. She could feel the skin bruising. When she glanced in the cabinet glass, she saw her face reflected back– turning yellow and purple. Like a macabre painting.

"It was an accident, Lillia." His voice had changed entirely. She almost couldn't remember the shouting Drew. Almost. "I never meant to hurt–"

She started to cry– thick, heavy tears. "Please don't talk to me right now," she choked out, the tears coming in waves. Hot humiliation coursed through her. Shame at crying in front of him, shame at crying at all. Shame at what had happened. How had it come to this?

He stood there miserably before her, his arms hanging loosely by his sides. "I'm sorry," he whispered, not moving closer, not moving farther away. "I'm so sorry."

She nodded, the tears still falling. "I think–" she hiccupped. "I think I should go."

She could barely see through her tears. The world was blurry and distorted. Just like her thoughts. Numbly, she grabbed her coat and walked out. She didn't look at him as she left.


	8. Chapter 8: THE WAY IT ALWAYS WAS

CHAPTER EIGHT

Hours later. She was sitting on her bed, rubbing her cheek, when her phone buzzed. _We still on for tonight?_

Shoot. It was Monday night, which meant her weekly study session with Reeve. She'd forgotten all about it.

 _Sorry, feeling kind of sick :(_

 _Feel better, Cho._

She turned off her phone and closed her eyes. What a mess she'd gotten herself into. She remembered Drew's eyes, mournful and ridden with guilt. He'd been sorry, hadn't he? Wasn't that enough?

She didn't know how much time passed before a knock sounded at her door. She got up wearily; her roommate often forgot her key card. Once, she'd woken Lillia up in the middle of the night because she'd been locked out.

She opened the door. Reeve stood grinning in the entrance, a plastic bag in his hands. "I brought candy bars–"

The smile slid off his face as he took in the giant bruise on her cheek. "What happened?"

She tried to close the door in his face, but he put his arm up. He pushed himself inside, dropping the candy bars on the floor. Then he grabbed her by her shoulders. "Who did this to you?" he demanded. Urgency radiated off of him.

She tried to shake him off. "No one. I– I fell."

"You've always been a terrible liar, Cho. Don't do this to me. Tell me."

She pushed him back and went to her bed. Leaning against the wall, she closed her eyes. "Nothing happened."

"Please, Lillia." She felt him scoot onto the bed beside her. When she met his scrutiny, she saw the pain in his eyes. "Tell me and I'll go whoop their–"

"No!" She sat up then, desperately shaking her head. She reached out and he took her hands. "Please don't. Reeve, please, just– I'm fine, okay? Don't worry about me. Nothing happened," she repeated, as if the more times she said it, the more convinced he'd be. The more convinced _she'd_ be. "Can we– can we please talk about something else?" Her voice broke.

His face looked wretchedly sad. Without speaking, he wrapped his arms around her and cradled her to his chest. She could feel his heart thrumming, fast and alive. She felt safe in these arms. With him, she always felt safe.

"Do you remember that time you taught me how to ride, and Phantom nearly threw me off?" he asked, out of the blue.

She smiled at the memory. "You were trying to ride him too aggressively! You have to take these things slow."

He laughed. "Phantom was loyal to you and only you. Though I did test his loyalties with my many apples."

"Your illegal apples," she corrected. "I told you not to spoil him."

"I can't help it," he chuckled.

"You spoiled me too," she added, as an afterthought.

"Whatever Princess Lillia wants, she gets." They laughed together.

That was how the night ended– telling stories and remembering fondly. Laughter and smiles. Natural. Right. The way it always was between them.


	9. Chapter 9: BROKEN YET WHOLE

CHAPTER NINE

Lillia hadn't swum in ages. When she'd first come to Boston, she'd been too busy, and the memories of Jar Island too fresh. After awhile, she'd forgotten. Swimming used to bring her so much joy. Funnily enough, it'd been Reeve who'd taught her. Maybe his coming to BC returned some of that joy.

So on Saturday morning, for the first time in a long while, Lillia Cho was seized with the impulse to swim. She wondered if she even remembered how. It'd been a while.

The indoor swimming pool was hard to locate. Lillia got lost several times before she made her way into the women's locker room, changing into her bikini. It was her only practical one– wide straps, tight fit, no slippage. It wasn't stylish, but she wouldn't see anyone she knew.

She walked out into the swimming pool. It was much bigger than the one back on Jar Island, with heated tiles and a state-of-the-art lap pool. She wondered if she could even swim across; it looked infinitely long.

Her eyes cut from one end to the other. She squinted. On the opposite side, near the wall, there was a body. Floating. His face was submerged in the water, but his back muscles rippled, half-exposed. He was just floating there, barely moving.

A wave of déjà vu crashed through her. Terror struck her heart. She recognized that back. She knew that boy.

A scream escaped from her throat. Several swimmers paused to stare at her, but she ignored them all. She couldn't see them. She could only see one boy; she could only ever see one boy…

Dropping all her belongings, she ran towards the opposite end of the pool. Her feet skidded against the wet tiles, but she only sped up, her heart pounding furiously. It couldn't be…

"Reeve!" she cried, falling to her knees at the pool's side. "Please, please…"

At the sound of his name, he lifted his head, treading water easily. He glanced up, confused, then saw her.

"Cho? What are you doing here?"

"Thank God," she breathed, collapsing against the pool's edge in weak relief. "You're alive."

He looked faintly amused. "Hello to you too."

"You were just floating there, not moving…"

"Building my lung capacity. Helps your mile time too." He grinned at her. Before she could stop herself, huge tears spilled over her lashes. "Reeve, you're alive."

His smile fell. "Lil, of course. I'm not going to leave you." He pushed himself out of the water, then sat by the pool's edge beside her. He took one of her hands, but that just made her cry harder. "Lillia, please don't cry. I'm right here."

"I thought– I thought it was happening all over again–"

"Hush," he said, pulling her to him. "That's over. That's all over."

People were staring at them. They probably thought she was disturbed. But strangely, she didn't care what they thought. She only cared what _he_ thought. And he was watching her, his eyes wide and concerned.

When she finally stopped crying, she sat up straighter, dangling her feet into the water beside him. Her nerves were still shaky from that near scare. She'd truly feared the worst. But then again, her past had proved the worst– time and time again. Death was not a foreign experience. Death was a next-door neighbor, nosy and all-too-greedy. She'd lost so many… she couldn't bear to lose Reeve too.

"Why…" She cleared her throat; it was still raspy. "Why did we never work out?" she wondered aloud. She felt Reeve tense beside her, but he continued stroking her back.

"A lot of things," he said hoarsely. "There was Alex, and then… Rennie, and then Elizabeth and then just… so much. It felt like a chasm I couldn't bridge. The way the whole school looked at us. The way Alex did." He swallowed; she could see his Adam's apple bobbing up and down. "I was afraid that if I loved you– that Elizabeth could tell– that she'd hurt you too."

She shook her head. "We're off the island, Reeve."

"Yes. We are." He looked at her. "Do you believe that?"

"Of course, we're at BC–"

"No, do you really believe that?" He trapped her in his gaze.

She felt her heart stumble. She didn't recognize the expression in his face, but it scared her. "I think so."

He squeezed her hand. "I'm glad."

Lillia studied the water: the lapping waves made by swimmers, the gentle murmur of the chlorine machine. The way the surface of the pool danced and glimmered, reflecting light and shattering it into schisms. Broken, yet whole. Just like people.

"Why did you never call?" she asked suddenly. "That night at prom, you said you'd call– when you were at Grayson. But you never did."

Reeve didn't answer for a long time. "I guess… I guess I was paying my dues. It felt wrong, you know? To just pretend none of that had happened. I needed to grieve Big– I mean– Elizabeth. I needed to show I was sorry, and that I remembered her. I couldn't just move on so quickly."

"Oh," she said. She had never thought of that.

"But that's not it." He snuck a peek at her. "I was afraid too." He laughed at himself. "I was afraid of you, Cho. You're a pretty intimidating girl."

She puffed up her chest. "I am?"

"The most. I didn't know what you'd think of me. I didn't know if I stood a chance."

"And now you think you do?"

He shook his head. "I decided I didn't care. I missed you." He smiled. "I'm here now. I want you back in my life– in whatever way."

This took her aback. The way he demanded nothing from her, asked nothing, gave everything… "You're the best friend, Reeve."

He smiled at her, impish, and mischievous. "Or the worst." Then he hoisted her in the air– "Don't you dare!" she shrieked– and dumped her into the pool.

He dived in after her, and she started splashing him, trying to dunk him. He was too heavy for her, and soon he had both arms around her, holding her up as if she weighed nothing. "I am so going to get you back for this!"


End file.
